The Word: FLOUNCE, verb: 1) to move with exaggerated jerky or bouncy motions; to go with sudden determination; 2) flounder, struggle

My Take: I love crossword puzzles. I used to hate them. I hated that they weren’t like word finds in that the answer was already present, but had to be discovered. With crossword puzzles, if you don’t already have the information, it’s highly unlikely you’re going to get the information. But even more frustrating is that you could very well know the information, but because the question is worded as an obstacle all in itself, you may never realize you had the answer all along. Take the word “flounce” for instance: It has three completely different meanings. So, if the clue on a crossword puzzle were simply “Flounce,” how would you know which definition to use as the answer? And it’s that challenge that makes me love crossword puzzles.

The Word: CHAMELEON, noun: 1) a small lizard whose skin changes color especially according to its surroundings; 2) a person given to often expedient or facile change in ideas or character; one that is subject to quick or frequent change especially in appearance

My Take: I’ve never been one to want to blend in, at least not too much. My mom says it’s because I’m the middle child. I guess I can agree with that. I have all the symptoms, including wanting to be the center of attention. But there were a few times while traveling around Europe that I wouldn’t have minded being a chameleon. Mostly, I felt that way in the “romance” countries: Spain, Italy, Greece. I guess being five-feet-eleven-inches and blond in a country where the average woman is five-foot-four-inches and has dark hair makes you a target for sexual harassment. Anyway, even thought I usually lean toward being seen and heard, in those situations, blending in would have suited me just fine.

The Word: BRUMMAGEM, adjective: not genuine; spurious, cheaply showy, tawdry

My Take: Something I get a kick out of is people who enjoy being brummagem. Women with the highest heels and the brightest bling; men with the hair gel and the $200 jeans; pageant shows filled with bleached teeth, teased hair, and fake tans. It’s all so amusing, like these people are paid to entertain me. But in a way it’s also kind of sad. It makes me wonder what they’re hiding–what they’re afraid of. It makes me wonder what they think when they look at themselves in the mirror at night when they’re alone and there’s no one else to perform for. It makes me wonder what happened to them to make them choose a fake persona over their true selves. Does it make you wonder?

The Word: CANOODLE; verb: to engage in amorous embracing, caressing, and kissing

My Take: Of course the word of the day on Valentine’s Day is a sappy one. Alright, here we go. I’ll try not to become Spinster Liz on you (30 Rock reference…if you haven’t seen this episode, please go watch it now!).

I don’t understand when people canoodle in public. It’s just so awkward for everyone else not canoodling. There you are, innocently riding the bus home after a long day at work, and squished up next to you is a 20-year-old couple completely engrossed in one another. The bus is crowded, so the girl is sitting on the boy’s lap. They’re giggling. They’re whispering. They’re pretzeling (yup, just made that one up). And they’re completely oblivious to everyone around them. I think that should be part of Merriam Webster’s definition: CANOODLE, verb: to engage in amorous embracing, caressing, and kissing while completely blocking out any parties not involved in said action.

I hope you weren’t an innocent victim of canoodling this past Valentine’s Day. If you were, I apologize. If you were one half of the aforementioned obnoxious behavior, apologize to anyone who’s had to endure your nonsense.

Sincerely,

Spinster Ellen

The Word: HARBINGER, noun: 1) one that pioneers in or initiates a major change; precursor; 2) one that presages or foreshadows what is to come

My Take: Something I’ve realized about myself is that I like stories with good foreshadowing. Now, bad foreshadowing is a whole other song. Movies with obvious plots (i.e. almost any romantic comedy released since 1995), books that give away the ending a third of the way in, most country sounds: No thanks. But a story with a good harbinger? Count me in.

One of the best books I’ve read in the past six months is The Help by Katheryn Stockett. I won’t give away any of the plot but this: It follows the stories of three women living in Mississippi in the 1960s. At first, each woman seems to be completely separate from the others and as a reader, you aren’t sure what the point is. But soon, Stockett gives you harbingers to clue you in–nothing annoyingly obvious or direct, just enough to keep you hooked. It’s genius. So if you’re like me and enjoy a good, catchy, can’t-put-it-down story, check it out. And let me know what you think of the harbingers.

The Word: EMPRISE, noun: an adventurous, daring, or chivalric enterprise

My Take: When playing the game “Truth or Dare,” I’m the one who always chooses “Truth.” I don’t have a problem being honest with others. To be honest with you right now, I don’t think I have much to hide. It would be much more of an emprise for me to choose “Dare,” because with the dare, you don’t know what you’re up against: It could be anything, and it’s 99.9-percent guaranteed to be embarrassing. At least with the truth, you know what you’re going to be saying (or should be saying). On a rare occasion I’ll feel up to the challenge of a dare. But usually, just count on me to be good for the truth.

The Word: UNCTUOUS, adjective: 1) fatty, oily; smooth and greasy in appearance or texture; 2) insincerely smooth in speech and manner

My Take: I don’t like fake people. Fake people, to me, are those men and women who lie, flirt, cheat, gossip, and manipulate into the hearts and heads of those around them for the sheer purpose of pleasing themselves. They’re selfish and insincere. Everything that comes out of a fakers mouth is unctuous–their words are meaningless. What scares me is that there are so many fake people out there, and society seems to be okay with that. It’s one thing to be naive, but it’s another to be indifferent. So please, don’t let all those greasy, people-pleasing schmoozers get away with it anymore…call them out on their unctuous nonsense!

The Word: TORPEDO, noun: 1) a weapon for destroying ships by rupturing their hulls below the waterline as either a submarine mine or a thin cylindrical self-propelled underwater projectile

My Take: I have no idea what movie this line comes from, but the only thing I can think of when I hear, or in this case see, the word “torpedo” is, “Man the torpedoes!”

One other torpedo-related thought: Living on a submarine would be the worst.

The Word: VICISSITUDE, noun: 1) the quality or state of being changeable, mutability; 2a)  an unexpected change or fluctuation; 2b) a difficulty or hardship usually beyond one’s control

My Take: I’m intrigued by pottery. The only experience with clay I’ve had came in elementary and junior high school, and, to be quite honest, I wasn’t very good with it. But while I was in Greece, a potter invited us into his home (his studio) and let us watch as he handcrafted mugs, bowls, vases, and plates. Seeing how the clay went from being unshapely lumps of nothing to unique pieces of artistry was intriguing; it made me wonder if I, too, could take advantage of clay’s vicissitude and transform it into something beautiful. I haven’t tried my hand at it yet (it’s been two years) but perhaps soon I will. Who knows, maybe instead of making a deformed platypus like I did in third grade I’ll actually create something a little useful–maybe even pretty.

The Word: PLAGUEY, adjective: causing irritation or annoyance; troublesome

My Take: Now that I live and work in Minneapolis, I’ve decided to take full advantage of the city’s public transportation system. Since the bus stop is conveniently located right outside of my apartment, I figured there’s no reason for me to deal with the hassle of keeping a car in the city. So far it’s worked out great, except when this one thing very inconvenient, very plaguey thing happens: when the bus comes late. I understand that navigating city streets during the winter is hard, but staying warm while waiting is hard, too. And so is not knowing when the bus will come. And so is keeping a positive attitude while waiting trying to stay warm while not knowing how long I’ll be cold for. In fact, maybe it’s not even the bus being late that’s plaguey, maybe it’s the cold. Is it spring, yet?